My shoulder, Michael Parkinson and Japanese Craic!!

It is new day and many interesting things have happened, not to me but they have happened. I did have an interesting little class yesterday though and I shall tell you about it NOW!

As I mentioned in a previous blog, they change teachers around every year and so at my Primary Schools there is many a new teacher. The smallest of my schools has a new teacher who speaks absolutely no English and is, in his own words, “Afraid of English”. He is not a bad teacher he is just a nervous lad. Well he asked me to do a class on some everyday English. “No problem” I said, thinking it would be easy but it turns out they know quite a bit of everyday use English already so in the end I decided to teach them some Irish-English. I gave them the work sheet I made and, in pairs, they picked which phrases they wanted to use. Each group then did a little demonstration in front of the class. They went a little like this:

S1: Howya!

S2: Hey!

S1: What’s the craic?

S2: I’m grand and yourself.

S1: I’m fine. Any news?

S2: No.

I was very surprised when I saw each group because they were so good. Their pronunciation was great and they weren’t just reading from the sheet. One group substituted in ‘sleepy’ for ‘grand’ without even asking me if it was right or not. These are 10 year olds, whose English classes had been very spread out before this year (I only went twice a month). I have older students who wouldn’t think of doing that. A very simple change but I was very impressed by the fact that they tried and it is funny to hear Japanese children speaking like Irish children.

Yesterday saw the arrival of my new chair.  Not a particularly interesting fact at first but give it a chance.  First we look at the chair.

Recliney goodness!

When we look closer we see that, in a lovely little coincidence, it matches The Man Mangler 5 Ballillion.

The same racing car red and black combo!!

So already the new chair has some interesting back story, how did it come to have the same colour scheme as that bench?  Could it be that black and red are simply popular colours? Ha! How naive of you! It was obviously the will of the GODS!!!!

My will be done!!!

But enough of that.



For one night only we have a very special segment for you:

Shoulder Watch: The diary of an injured shoulder.

I lost some weight and did..something with my hair!

The following is a transcription of the interview of Gary Furlong’s shoulder carried out by Michael Parkinson hereafter known as MP.

That's himself!

MP: Hello and welcome to the show, thank you for being here.

Shoulder: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.

MP: Now we are here to talk about what happened to you last Sunday and how it has affected you since then, why don’t you take us through what happened.

Shoulder: Thanks Michael. I’m a quiet Shoulder, I keep to myself, moving Gary’s arm where it needs to be moved, I’ve got a ball and socket joint so I’m pretty bitchin. Anyway since Gary has started this judo shite I’ve been under a bit of pressure, nothing serious….until Sunday.

There I am moving Hand into some pretty good positions for a good throw, but between you and me that choker can’t even grasp the basics of shoelace tying never mind anything else! He complains that I aint moving him well enough and so we get into an argument. I sez that I have to go on what the Eyes tell me and to be honest those two can’t agree on anything, why they got married is beyond me. Left Eye seems to have her head in the game so I go with her, Right is a secretive little bitch who don’t tell Brain anything for free.

Aaaanyway, Hand and I are in an argument and as soon as I mention the Eyes who do you think chimes in only Right Eye. ‘I work hard up here’ he sez, ‘I never get the drops I want’ he sez. I had been looking to souse this guy for months, ever since he mislead me and Hand and I ended up covered in beans. We are in the thick of it, I’m throwing out insults like an angry sailor with fungal issues when all of a sudden Left Eye starts screaming at us to shut up but by then it was too late.

Next thing I knew I was slammed on the ground and all the alarms were going off, I knew straight away this was going to be a legal mess. I had tendons and ligaments coming up complaining to me about work related injuries and talking all kinds of smack at me; ‘compensation’ this and ‘work related injuries’ that. After a brief trial the next day Brain threw it out but Right Eye got a reprimand and I’m pretty sure Left is going to file for divorce any day now! Serves the mook right.

MP: That is a fascinating story, well everyone that is all we have time for today. I’d like to thank my guest: Gary’s shoulder, and don’t forget his book “Don’t lean on me” is in the shops Monday!! Goodnight everyone!!

I was going to end this post here but then I decided that I wouldn’t.  I am going to end it here, in this section just not with that little segment (the one about the shoulder)…Or this segment (this isn’t about the shoulder), this is really just a prologue (see!), like the beginning of the end (nothing to do with the shoulder).  So I might have another paragraph.

But that doesn’t count as another section! I just do it to make the page look cleaner.  So technically this is the section that will end this post but this and the previous sentences (within this section) are not the sentences that will end the post.

This is.

I know technically that was another paragraph but it was also the sentence that ended the post….or is this it?

About gazztastic

This blog is another attempt at self motivation to do these four things in a year: (In order of supposed difficulty) 1). Achieve at a 75% or higher in the JLTP 二級 test. 2). Write and record a song every two months 3). Learn all the modes in guitar, learn to play at least 3 classical pieces and learn to sweep pick. 4).......lose 10 kilos Should be doable if I can make myself get up and do them!!!!
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3 Responses to My shoulder, Michael Parkinson and Japanese Craic!!

  1. Buu says:

    lost weight and did something with your…face as well hahaha.

    love how you put Samuel el Jackson as the God.

    it’s a “quite shoulder” now, innit? so any following hospital related stories?

    but that is really great to hear about your students. we don’t seem to have such brilliant unabashed and creative ones over on this side. though from the ones I have met so far I am sure it would be different if I was actually teaching within schools on a somewhat regular basis. right well you’ll have to teach me a funny way to say goodbye in Iriglish.

  2. baz says:

    I hope your next lesson includes the phrases
    “You want salt ‘n’ vinegar on that rissole there hun?”
    “‘Course I do sahn, gimme it or I’ll break your face!”


  3. seán says:

    ”i’ll put your eyebrows on crutches”
    ”i aint playin no chase game”

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