Swimming in July makes feet sore!!!

A good morrow to you all.  I was looking at my archives and I have posted at least once a month since I started this young blog.  And so, as July comes to a close I have decided I have to write something….Just what to write about.  Update:  Yea, missed out on July.  Woops. Update:  Missed out on August too.  Double woops.

Well the other day I decided to see if I could complete Metal Gear Solid in 3 hours.

Huh? What was THAT noise?

Needless to say I did not do this.  It took more like 6 and a half hours.  I hadn’t even reached the second disk and I was over the 3 hour mark.  I even skipped some of the FMVs and codec conversations but that didn’t seem to make a difference.  One thing I noticed that I didn’t seem to care about when I was younger was how fukkin cheesy the dialogue can get in that game.  And how much of Solid Snake’s dialogue is just him repeating what the other character has said and then asking them one of the following:

“What are you trying to say?”


“What do you mean?”


Breaking news!!!

Well the main bit of newsical information I have for you all is that I recently injured myself.  Let me recount the tail.  It was a sunny day at Ichiburi beach.  The birds were singing their pleasant song and I was throwing stones at them ’cause what are they so happy for!!  Our group came to a halt and sat, the water was inviting and so in we went.  I live in pretty rural Japan so the thought of someone stealing your unattended shit doesn’t really cross your mind.  Swim, Swim, swimmity swim.

Kody and I getting our swim on.

Kody and I stayed in the water to see if we could balance on some rocks and not get knocked off by the waves.  We had moderate success.  When we had finished on the first set of rocks we set off to a more challenging area.  Rocks were climbed and then it was time to go.  So like an Olympic swimmer preparing for the 100 meter backstroke I kicked off a rock and began my swim back.

My foot hit the rock and was greeted with pain.  I knew I had cut it and instantly got very annoyed.  I had been playing irresponsibly on ROCKS!!!! Dangerous rocks and yet it was when I was swimming in the water that I cut my stupid foot!!  I must now warn you that I am including a picture of said injured foot.  I don’t think it looks too bad but some of you may feel an unstoppable urge to seek me out for carnal activities when you see my hero wound.  Prepare yourselves:


Update:  My foot is now completely healed.

So that was last month.  It is now August and Japan is a warm lunch box in which we bees sweat to death.  Update:  Its actually September, just in case you read this and thought you had gone back in time.

The other notable activity in the past two months is my climbing of Mt Fuji.  Some background information.  Mt Fuji is 3776m (12389ft) tall Stratovolcano.  Its last eruption was in 1707-08.  It is the 35th largest mountain in the world.  The Japanese have a saying:  You’re a fool not to climb Mt Fuji but you’re a fool to climb it twice”  something like that anyway.

Well It all started when my friend Mary decided it would be fun to climb Mr Fuji.  So, short story kept to its original length: she invited me to come along and I said yes.  I had never climbed anything as big as Mr Fuji so I looked up what I should bring.  The advice was mixed so I brought anything I could fit in my bag, including a spare change of clothes (if you climb Fuji, it may not be the worst idea to do so, if you have room).  What I failed to bring was oxygen, remember this as it will come up in the test.

5th station, it begins!!

There we are.  Look at us there.  We are on the 5th station of Mt Fuji.  This is where most people start climbing.  Its a little colder up there so you have to wait for about 2 hours to let yourself get used to it.  Used to it we got, and soon we were ready to get our asses in gear and start up that farting mountain!!!


That mountain is not Fuji.  I was having a wee contemplation session.  Sizing the mountain up in my head…and insulting it!!  “You won’t be able to handle ME” I thought at it!

I may have been wrong.

6th station, not a bother!!


There we are now, at the 6th station and not even breaking a sweat! These words were actually said “If all the stations are this close to each other we’ll be up there in no time”.  That may have been me.



The other stations were not close to each other….Oh no they were not!!!  We got to station 7 and took a little rest, looking up we could see that the next station was pretty close and pretty close it was but it was not station 8, oh no.  It was station 7 part two!!  I am pretty sure there were four station 7s.

Anyway, after we reached station 8 the dreaded altitude sickness started to set in.  This annoyed me for two reasons: 1. I was making pretty good progress up the mountain, nearly running up the fucker so we were.  But I felt so sick I was slowed to about 15% of what I was doing, no homo, I mean no joke.  And 2.  I felt sick while on a sodding mounting!!  A big one.  Many of you that know me will know that I am generally a happy enough lad, a powerfully angry lad but mostly of moderately decent spirits.  When I am tired/sick on a mountain/losing, a different Gary is let loose.  In this case I was mopey, I was trudging up the mountain and sitting every now and then, breathing in deeply to avoid getting sick and taking the occasional sleep.  At one point I was nearing the top and had found a place that was actually shielded from the wind and relatively warm.  I sat my fat ass down and I slept for a good long time.  At one point I was thinking: “Jayzus, I’ve been here for a while…this is how people die I think.  I suppose I had better go then”.  So up I got and trudged on until…

Shit, I mean:

The TOP!!!!!!!!

I did not die.  It took 8 hours and I survived without oxygen.  So next year I am bringing a sack load of it and I am running up that mountain!!!!

Fun was had on the way down, at one point I had to fight off a cloud demon!!

This guy was trying to get all up in my grill so I stuck out my magic making hand and showed him what-for Gandalf style!!  He didn’t stand a chance against my magical sauce!!



We were trying to summon Zaraki Kenpachi from the spirit world.  Little did we know what would happen.





We succeeded and he was waiting for us.  Luckily he wasn’t in a fighting mood so he let us leave unscathed.




Eventually we got to the bottom.   Kenpachi came with us to get in on the picture.  I know I look kind of miserable but I swear I had a good time!!! And will do it again.

No more Fuji!!!!

That’s it for Fuji news I’m afraid.  Fun was had and no one got sick.

In other news, the other day my school had their sports day!! A good day of cheering, dancing and sports!  I took part in two events.  One was a PTA (Parent Teacher Alliance…I’m sure it doesn’t stand for alliance but that sounds cool to me so that is what I am going with) event where I had to be carried by a very tiny student for as far as he could bear me, then I ran with him on my back to achieve 2nd place, see below!!

He was a very funny lad.  He was the captain of the white team.  When he saw that I was taking part he shouted: “I am carrying Gary!!!” to which I replied: “You sure about that?”.  “YEA!! NO PROBLEM!!! ” came his very happy reply.  “I’m strong Gary, don’t worry, I will try to carry you to this point”.  He went about 2 meters ahead and drew a line, then pointed to the start line and said “This, me!!” Then pointed from his line to the finish and said “Gary!!”.  Here is what happened.

I also took part in the Relay, I ran on the teachers team!!

Aaaaaaand he's off!!!

The hand off!!!

Here are some other pictures of the lovely sports day!!

In this game they play Rock, Paper, Scissors, the loser has to put the helmet on while the winner tries to smack them on the head with a hammer!!  Mucho fun to watch students belt teachers about the head with a squeaky hammer.





This game is called Kiba Sen!!  It means Horse mounted warriors kick the face off each other.  Not quite but that is the general gist.  Each team tries to grab the hats of the other team.  The team with the most hats at the end wins.




The teams have to roll the big ball to the end of the line.  If they lose control of the ball it will fly off to the side and they will have to start from that point again.



Get the tires, do not let the other team steal your tires.  The team with the most tires at the end is the winner.

These were just some of the events at this year’s Sports Festival or 体育祭 (tai iku sai).  Much fun was had.

Let’er rip!!! The second!!

Well, It has been a few months since last I posted on this blog but if you can remember, I had a post called “Let’er rip” before.  Well this is a very similar.  It all happened like this:

I was ready for them.  My shoulder has been sore for a long time but I’m always up for some dodge ball!!

The ball traveled thusly.  Due to some quick hands by one of our star players the ball came back into my team’s possession.  All of a sudden I had the ball!!

All I had to do now was choose my target!!!!

I used my percision aiming skillz!!

All that was left to do was execute my main program:  Throw ball at child!!!  This should always be done with a little theatricality!

Maybe a little more….

And then, the all too familiar sound, the feeling of wind rushing up twixt my nethers.  It had happened…again!!!!

There I stood, my pants ripped, my bottom cold and the most amazing thing happened: no one noticed.  No one had heard the sound, and the rip was smaller than the last time AND I was wearing black underwear so it was hard to see….if I kept my legs closed.  Oh, I forgot to mention that after dodge ball I had to go teach those children and it just so happened that today their parents were coming in to observe!!!!!  The led to me teaching the class like this:

I never turned my back to them, I walked like a crab!! I don’t think they noticed so hopefully I got away with it, this time.  I think from now on I shall have to start changing my pants for dodge ball.

And so there you have it kids, the last two months of my life.  I know I have forgotten a lot so if I remember I shall put it into the next post.  ALSO, as of this morning I am 101kg.  This is a new record!!  I’m sure that will increase a little, I seem to be leveling out at 104kg at the moment.  And as soon as my shoulder gets better Project Bicep Mash will be back on!!


About gazztastic

This blog is another attempt at self motivation to do these four things in a year: (In order of supposed difficulty) 1). Achieve at a 75% or higher in the JLTP 二級 test. 2). Write and record a song every two months 3). Learn all the modes in guitar, learn to play at least 3 classical pieces and learn to sweep pick. 4).......lose 10 kilos Should be doable if I can make myself get up and do them!!!!
This entry was posted in General, Project Bicep Mash, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Swimming in July makes feet sore!!!

  1. Sarah - Daisy Face, aka: Gate Keeper of the Shocanockus!! says:

    That was absolutely hilarious!!! I couldn’t stop the laughing! The lads could hear me inside!! BRILLIANT!!!

  2. jordan says:

    oh my gosh.

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