So much depends on…

Did you listen?  Were you inspired?  I know this poem has been around for ages and to comment on it now is, to put it lightly, “late to the game son!!”.  However, I just saw a facebook status posted by my friend that referenced the poem.  Curious, I wanted to see who the poet was.  I will be the the first to admit that I have a woeful knowledge and understanding of poetry but this poem just set my mind alight.  Sure the words are simple, but the concepts are mind blowing.  The wheelbarrow is obviously the writer. He feels the weight of his responsibilities in his life, so much so that he feels like a wheelbarrow, destined to carry loads for the owner, his owner being society.  He is glazed with rainwater, a sad state in which to leave anything (apart from ducks).  The writer here talks about how his face is drenched in tears, his rainwater.  The poem is nicely rounded off by telling the reader that he is beside the white chickens, here the writer is obviously referring to WHITE CHICKENS!! A nice way to end the bullshit sandwich that is this poem!!  Honestly I know nothing about this guy or his poems, or any poems at all but I have heard poetry, good poetry, and thought: this is a nice poem it makes me think and it evokes emotion.  This guy writes notes you would leave on your fridge and passes them off as poems.

“I have used the last of the washing up liquid, the dishes are clean, I have gone to the shop, I will get milk.”

This is my contribution to the poetry world!!!

Well that was an angry little rant there.  Since writing that a few months have passed.  As the 7 of you that read this blog will notice, I have not posted in quite a long time.  I haven’t really had anything to write about to be honest.  Well, that isn’t really true, nor is it true to say that I haven’t had the time to update this blog.  I have been a lazy boy and that is all!!  But I  am back for at least this post and hopefully there will be more to come.

I know this blog was meant to be following and recording my persuit of excellence.  I was supposed to be studying, working out, getting black belts in Judo, and I think there was another one. I have failed in the studying department I am afraid, I have shown no dedication or dicipline to bettering my Japanese language skills.  This will have to be amended.  I have, however, kept up the working out and have achieved the black belt in Judo.  Now I need to lose even more weight and train harder at the Judo.  Maybe then I will be able to say I have truly succeeded in these endeavors.  I shall continue to do my best!!!

Now onto the rest of my life.  I have taken up skiing again.  I even bought my own skis and am not too shabby.  So instead of falling every 4 seconds I might fall 2 or 3 times in a whole day (depending on the difficulty of the slope).  So I have gone from this:

I remember these days well!  The guy in the picture isn’t me but I have fallen like this.  So many times laid out like a frightened goat with skis on.

 

 

 

 

To this:——————————————>

Well not quite this but I am a lot better!!!

The ski season is almost over so I am going to try and get a few more ski weekends in before the sun comes and takes away all the cold.  This is both good and bad.  Its good because from now on going to the supermarket across the road won’t be an arctic expedition fraught with perils such as: being splashed by prick car drivers, slipping on the ice, hitting your hear and ending up laughing at your finger for the rest of your life or breaking your leg because in Itoigawa it is deemed prudent to take all the snow from the road and just pile it on the footpath cause fuck pedestrians!!

It is bad because when the snow is gone the sun comes out.  You would think that is a good thing and of course it is…but, well its like the sun is trying to make up for not being here for us for so long and proceeds to blast us with ALL ITS HEAT!!!

You may think this is an eggsageration but it bloody well isn’t.  The sun comes and tries either set us all on fire or melt us!  Walking to the supermarket across the road now becomes a trip to the beach without any of the watery, sandy fun at the end.  You have to take all the precautions you would when sunbathing for 4 hours just when you want to throw out your rubbish.  If the sun can burn you it shall.  last year Gary can confirm this!!

Oooooh yes.  That is a burnt face!! The were calling me “Lobster Gary” at work!!!  This year I shall neither be so plentiful of face nor will I get so burned!!

THE MAIN EVENT!!!

I call this section the main event because it is what inspired me to actually get off my ass and write something.  I know my intentions for this blog were noble but it just turned into me writing stuff that I thought was funny.  And today I give you something I thought was funny.  As usual it is something that happened to me and was a source of embarrassment.  It starts with a young man intent on cleaning his room.  I could see that there was a job that needed doing and the doing of it was my goal!!  I began in the kitchen, moving some stuff around, including the Man Mangler 5 Ballilion (if you dont know what that is then you need to read more of my phucking blog!!) and putting things in order.  I broke out the hoover (pronounced: “Vac-yume Clean-er”), replaced the hoover bag and began to clean like a boss!!  I think now is a good time to mention that myself and my friend Karlee were going to Judo on this night and Karlee came over earlier than expected.  I am now going to show you what happened under three different headings “How I wish it had happened”, “How it actually happened”, and “How it happened in my head”.

How I wish it had happened

Just doing my hoovering.

Enter the scarer!!!

My highly attuned senses kick in and I am fully aware that all is not well!!

From my lazy, seated hoovering position I am about to get the scare of a lifetime….or am I???

I spring!!

 

Threat Neutralised!!  She won’t be so quick to try and scare me again!!!

Well I can tell you all that it happened absolutely nothing like that.  Not in the slightest.  The next set will depict what happened as if viewed on your television set, from the point of view of an observer.

How it actually happened

The embarrassing truth!!

There you have it folks.  I was frightened.  Oh so very frightened.  She sneaked up behind me and scared the living shit out of me.  But I think I should show you why I was so scared and why I screamed so loudly!!  So I bring you the final version of the events:  as they happened in my head.

How it happened in my head

And now ladies and gentlemen you get to delve deep into my brain and see what was going on while Karlee was sneaking up on me.

Heeeeerrrp a derrrp derp derp.  BUuUUUUuUuuuuuu.

Skerp diddly uurrp derp derpde derp deeerrrrrp.

It was at this point that I actually did sense something behind me.  I began to turn and the first thing I saw was just long black hair attached to a something, a something that was in my house, behind me, screaming at me.  This is what I saw:

 

Aaaaand this was me:

So there you have it.  I was scared like I have never been before.  And had it been filmed it would have been worthy of youtube.  As it was not this is the best I can offer you all.  I hope you enjoyed it.

I am sorry I haven’t posted in so long but hopefully I will get some creative juice, drink it and then let it flow.  And if something funny happens to me I will be sure to post about it ASAP.  Until then have thyselves good times!!

About gazztastic

This blog is another attempt at self motivation to do these four things in a year: (In order of supposed difficulty) 1). Achieve at a 75% or higher in the JLTP 二級 test. 2). Write and record a song every two months 3). Learn all the modes in guitar, learn to play at least 3 classical pieces and learn to sweep pick. 4).......lose 10 kilos Should be doable if I can make myself get up and do them!!!!
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2 Responses to So much depends on…

  1. Dave Kuhn says:

    Dude, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while, excellent blog.

  2. Silly Sarah ;) says:

    That was hilarious Gary!!! 🙂 Loved it! Keep em coming dude! And hey send me on some creative juice, want to keep some in stock! 😛

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